Tag Archives: Father’s Day

Thoughtful Thursday: Dad or Dud?

14 Jun

dad or dudI wanted this week’s Thoughtful Thursday to be really special for our dads. But my hunt for a great “dad” quote did anything but inspire. I ended up finding a bunch of quotes about “duds” –  the failure, disappointment and non-existence of dads.  There is clearly a crisis when it comes to the relationship between children and their fathers.

There are so many good dads out there; I know lots of them! But their good examples seem to be washed out by all the duds. Abusive and absent fathers are too easily regarded as the norm. Fathers are almost expected to fail. How, then, are they supposed to be good fathers when society doesn’t have high expectations for them to live up to? Fathers need to know how important they are so that they can take their role as leader of their home more seriously; and we need to give them the respect they need to do that. Dads need encouragement. They need to know that they are wanted and that their children depend on them. Dads need to know that their actions may decide the fate of their family.

There is hope. Fathers around the world are stepping up and taking their role more seriously. They’re not bullying their family or letting their family walk all over them. Instead, they are offering their family love, guidance and encouragement. They are taking authority and responsibility for their family. And in turn, they are respected, loved and trusted. They deserve to be called “Dad”.

I hope your child will say this:

“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.”

 – Jim Valvano (American college basketball coach)

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The Father’s Mandate: Love Your Wife

13 Jun

Welcome to the second part of The Father’s Mandate series. This fantastic series not only honours fathers, but challenges them to a higher standard of excellence as head of their home. Last time we talked about a father’s responsibility in creating a family identity. Today we focus on another crucial role that a father plays in his family:

Role #2: Love Your Wife!

the father's mandate - husband love your wifeWhen we think about a man’s responsibility as a father, we tend to forget how his relationship with his wife affects his relationship with his children. No matter how involved a father is with his children, it will count for almost nothing if he doesn’t show love and affection to their mother. If a father isn’t spending quality time with his wife, speaks harshly to her or isn’t patient with her, his children will find it difficult to trust him and they will begin to develop habits of an unhealthy family model. I realise this example may be limited for more complex family units, but the point remains the same: Fathers need to love their children’s mother!

“Fathers are crucial in making men of their sons and women of their daughters. Contrary to the popular image, it is not the aggressive, macho man but the competent, caring, loving father who does this best.” – Faulkner

A father needs to represent the kind of man that he wants his son to be. Boys need their fathers to teach them how to conduct themselves as men; how to be responsible; and how to treat women. When a boy grows out of childhood, he inevitably lets go of his attachment to his mother and looks to his father for instruction and affirmation. If his father isn’t there, he will look for answers elsewhere and risk becoming a distorted version of what masculinity should be.

A father needs to represent the kind of man that he wants his daughters to marry. By being a good role model, his daughter can see how a man should look, act and talk. A father who is loving, caring and affectionate towards his wife shows his daughter how she should one day be treated by her husband; she should not want to settle for anything less. On the other hand, if a daughter has limited interaction with her father, or her father is unkind to her mother, she will struggle to relate to men and may end up in a cycle of abusive relationships.

So dads, if you want your children to grow up in healthy relationships and receive the love that they deserve, you need to model that picture for them. Surprise your wife with a bunch of flowers, tell her “I love you” every day, hug her, kiss her and dance with her. Make sure your children see your affection for her and make sure that, one day, they settle for nothing less!

What do you think dads? Challenge accepted?

 

 

Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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