Tag Archives: children

The Father’s Mandate: Build Trust in God’s Word

25 Jun

Father's Mandate_Dad reads bibleIt’s the start of a new week, and I’m hoping that The Father’s Mandate series is the start of a whole new look at the incredible role that dads play in their families. We started off the series by talking about how fathers are responsible for creating a family identity and how important it is for them to teach their children values and morals. As we have mentioned before, this series is inspired by the Growing Kids God’s Way parenting course, a Growing Families International curriculum that teaches parents how to bring their children up with biblically based principles. Although this is essentially a Christian course, the principles we share are relevant for any faith. This brings us to the next role of fathers:

Role #6: Build Trust in God’s Word

As a father, you need to teach your children that God can be trusted. Your children need to hear stories about how God has taken care of you and how the teachings of the Bible have helped you; that they are beneficial and not a burden. You need to constantly be teaching them the wisdom of God’s Word and how the scriptures teach us to live good lives. Tell your children how you avoided temptation and trouble by listening to God’s Word. By applying scripture to real life situations, you can show your children that the Bible is still relevant today and that it really does have all the answers.

As you may well have concluded, this means that you too need to be knowledgeable about God’s Word. Take the time to read your Bible and teach your children to do the same.

Thoughtful Thursday: We Never Really Grow Up

21 Jun

thoughtful thursday_never grow up“We never really grow up. We only learn how to act in public.”

“Men”. That’s the one word I would use to sum up this quote. And I say this with less of a “tsk tsk” and more with a bout of jealousy that men seem to get this so right! What a relief to not twitch every time I see an item of clothing on the floor or a dirty mug left on a side table. Come to think of it…if I were a man, those items would probably be invisible to my boy lenses. What bliss!

Just for one day, I’d like the ability to wee outdoors without having to squat, to fart and receive a “good one”, to burp and not be shunned, to play soccer on the beach and not be worried about popping out my bikini, to have a round of golf and not even talk about my kids, to sit in front of the TV and not notice that the dogs are eating the cat right off my lap.

But I don’t think I’ll get any of that right any time soon. So I guess I’ll be satisfied with being able to scream like miss Muffit when I see a big, hairy spider; to pretend I’m a mermaid when I swim in the sea, dress like a fairy on summery days, and believe that I really am a lost princess; to throw tantrums when my favourite heels break, and to jump up and down 50 times and giggle like a little girl when my best friend falls in love, gets married or falls pregnant.

I guess girls never really grow up either!

The Father’s Mandate: Family Identity

11 Jun

happy family on carpetThere is no doubt about the importance of fathers. When a father is actively involved with his children, he positively influences every area of their lives. Children need their dads! In this series, we’ll be sharing a little of The Father’s Mandate from the Growing Kids God’s Way course (a Growing Families International curriculum) and highlighting some of the essential roles that dads play in the family unit.

Role #1: Family Identity

Family ties should not be optional. In an ideal world, every child would know that they were put into their family for a purpose; that they have a role to play; that they are loved and cherished; and that their family is committed to them. Ever family would have a standard of values and morals to live up to; and every member of that family would hold each other mutually accountable. A family would be a team. Every team needs a leader; and that leader would be Dad.

Did you know that “husband” literally means “house-holder”? It’s not surprising then that a father holds so much responsibility when it comes to being the family leader. This can’t be taken lightly. If a father is absent or too busy to focus attention on his family, outside influences will shape the children’s idea of what a family looks like. As entertaining and light-hearted as they may be, popular TV shows like The Simpsons or Modern Family often shows dads to be silly, irresponsible and unable to cope with the children on their own. They may be likeable, but they don’t command respect and their children don’t trust them.

To quote Gary Ezzo, “the quantity and quality of trust children have in us, as fathers, is a legitimate benchmark of our relationship with them. Do your children trust you to provide them simply with sustenance, facts, and judgments, or do they trust you as a person?” (pg. 71, Growing Kids God’s Way).

 Studies have found that children who feel connected to their parents and siblings have fewer problems with temptation and peer pressure. When dads are actively involved, their children are more confident. They have a higher self-esteem, are more sociable, compassionate and empathetic. They reach independence easier and deal with frustration better. Boys are less aggressive and adolescent girls are less likely to engage in sexual activity.

So how does a dad actually build a family identity? Fathers need to verbalise their excitement and pleasure with their family.  Saying things like, “This is a great family” or “I am so thankful that God put us all together” and “You kids have such a great mom” have a remarkable impact on a child’s perception. Dads need to give their children a clear picture of the purpose of their family. Make sure your children understand the values and morals that they are expected to live up to. Let them know exactly what roles they play in the family. When Dad is excited and encouraged about his family, the children tend to feel the same way. But when Dad is absent or silent, they will inevitably ask the question, “Does he really care about us?”

Who is shaping your family’s identity?

 

 

Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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